Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
