so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
