i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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