I hate your face
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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