I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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