I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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