this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
