I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize