My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
