Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
