Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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