JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
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Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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