**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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