Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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