I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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