So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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