we're chasing vodka with high fives
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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