It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
