this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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