last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
