Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
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Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.