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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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• (631): View more from New York

  we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid

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