exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
