You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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