singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
