end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize