So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize