Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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