dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
