also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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