:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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