ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
