Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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