part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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