there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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