She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
