So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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