I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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