Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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