I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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