another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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