Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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