I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
