My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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