Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
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I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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