I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
