The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
