when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
