stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's always time for handjobs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
