My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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