butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
