Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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