Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
