But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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