Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
