The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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