How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize