The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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