That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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