I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
