thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its not stalking. its research.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
