shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize